Autumnal Equinox Audiobooks
Audiobook Horoscopes for the Autumnal Equinox

The Autumnal Equinox is ushering in shorter, cooler days; perhaps it’s the Sagittarian season bias of this writer (or the ever-present New York City humidity), but I am counting the days until turtlenecks one again become part of the daily wardrobe. All September long, the cosmic train car has been off the rails: Mercury Retrograde! Full Harvest Moon! Virgo season, which can be scarier for some of us more than others! As the astro-nuttiness comes to a close, it’s time to get reinvigorated for the last third of 2022. Let audiobooks inspire you and your second wind.


Happy birthday you, level-headed minx! Get boosted, get your flu shot, then throw yourself a banger of a birthday party. You’re a social butterfly on the best day, and a celebration of y-o-u is a great way to play friend matchmaker between all the buddies that absolutely love you.

You should listen to: Bad Thoughts by Nada Alic


You can almost smell the smoky sultry scent of your season, Scorp! Hold your horses little horsey holder…early Autumn will still bring you good, even before your season hits! Take this time to lay low before the *real* celebration begins: get ducks, put them in a row, and take stock of all the people, places, and things you want around for your season.

You should listen to: A Cigarette Lit Backwards by Tea Hacic-Vlahovic


Archer, baby! You okay? I know it’s in your nature to prance around lightheartedly, but spend some time this fall building yourself a support network. Even ponies holding weapons need help sometimes! This will take: expert communication skills, focus, and patience. You can do it!

You should listen to: Platonic by Marisa G. Franco, PhD


Homie, you are burning out! It may not feel like you have a choice, but you need to let someone take a few bites off of your metaphorical plate. You’ve accomplished so much already, it’s not going to come tumbling down just because you find a leaf pile to lay in for a day or two. Be honest with those around you…after all, you’re only human.

You should listen to:The Biggest Ideas in the Universe by Sean Carroll


Alright, you elusive little air sign, it’s time to put off some things you’ve been procrastinating on. Mail back the leather pants you’ve been meaning to return! Go to the dentist! Figure out what a 401K is! You’re a smarty, and now you just need to show up. For yourself.

You should listen to: The Black Period by Hafizah Augustus Geter


Daydream-y little fishy! Your head is in the clouds and you’re thinking about loooove. Mayhaps it’s all the cozy fuzzy feelings we associate with fall, but you’re crushing super hard. Or crushing on the prospect of crushing. We get it, we’ve seen You’ve Got Mail! Ask a cutie out on a date or leave your phone number in a Convenient Crush Location for the universe to deliver. You’ll be cuffed in no time.

You should listen to: Lucy on the Wild Side by Kerry Rea


Mercury retrograde isn’t typically the best time for communication, but you’ll really want to keep up with your community. They may have leads for you in all kinds of ways: jobs, first date set ups, a secret stash of fall décor after all the stores have sold out. Right now is your personal year of yes…get into it!

You should listen to The Epic Story of Every Living Thing by Deb Caletti


Okay, don’t book your travel just yet (mercury retrograde + non-refundable hotel rooms are not necessarily your friend). BUT get that brain a-storming. Then you’ll be all set and ready when it’s time to pick a destination. All you’ll have to do is put your daydreams into motion.

You should listen to: The Vagabond’s Way by Rolf Potts


Stir that pot of fall-recipe approved chili, Gem! Are you a little bored? Now is the time! To shake it up! Think: signing up for a yoga class, buying an art supply you’ve never tried to use before, or wearing a new color. Faith, trust, and a little dust: I have a feeling you’re about to really tap into something here, the stars are on your side.

You should listen to: On the Subject of Unmentionable Things by Peter S. Beagle


Shocking no one: you are feeling it all, little crab. As we head into fall, don’t be afraid to do the things that give you a little boost: post the thirst trap! Ask for validation! Cry at a foreign film alone in a theater! Whatever gives you what you need.

You should listen to: All Down Darkness Wide by Seán Hewitt


I’m sorry to say, Simba, but it appears that beach season is over (though who knows, with climate change we may still be taking dips in the Atlantic come November). You, of course, are the resident beach babe. Try and hang on to the metaphorical warmth as best you can! Call an old buddy for dinner, do a good deed for a stranger, or treat yourself to something jazzy.

You should listen to: A Heavy Dose of Allison Tandy by Jeff Bishop


How was your birthday, Virgo? Everything you dreamed? Now that you’re done checking off celebratory to-dos and tallying dinner bills, you can lean into the balance of Libra season. Take this time to play catch up and slip back into the routine you so deeply love. You’ll be feeling like a shiny star in no time.

You should listen to: Visual Thinking by Temple Grandin, Ph.D.