End resentment, burnout, and anxiety—and reclaim your time, energy, health, and relationships. As the co-founder of the Whole30, Melissa Urban helped millions of people transform their relationship with food. Now, in this powerful and practical guide to setting boundaries, she shows you how to prioritize your needs and revolutionize your relationships.

“Melissa Urban shows the way forward with clarity, vulnerability, and humor.”—Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies


Do your relationships often feel one-sided or unbalanced? Are you always giving in just so things will go smoothly? Do you wish you could learn to say no—but, like, nicely? Are you depleted, overwhelmed, and tired of putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to establish some boundaries.

Since launching the mega-bestselling wellness program the Whole30, Melissa Urban has taught millions of people how to establish healthy habits and successfully navigate pushback and peer pressure. She knows firsthand that boundaries—clear limits you set to protect your energy, time, and health—are the key to feelings of security, confidence, and freedom in every area of your life.

Now, in The Book of Boundaries, she shows you how boundaries are the key to better mental health, increased energy, improved productivity, and more fulfilling relationships.

In her famously direct and compassionate style, Urban offers:

• 130+ scripts with language you can use to instantly establish boundaries with bosses and co-workers, romantic partners, parents and in-laws, co-parents, friends, family, neighbors, strangers—and yourself
• actionable advice to help you communicate your needs with clarity and compassion
• tips for successfully navigating boundary guilt, pushback, pressure, and oversteps
• techniques to create healthy habits around food, drink, technology, and more

User-friendly and approachable, The Book of Boundaries will give you the tools you need to stop justifying, minimizing, and apologizing, leading you to more rewarding relationships and a life that feels bigger, healthier, and freer.
“I always tell my therapy patients that boundaries create trust, comfort, and safety in a relationship, but many people struggle with how to effectively communicate what they need. In The Book of Boundaries, Melissa Urban helps you identify your boundary needs, offers actionable scripts on what to say, and shares proven tips based on a decade of experience helping people live more freely by holding their limits with confidence.” —Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

The Book of Boundaries is funny, direct, and smart, bringing you actionable tools and science-backed strategies for setting boundaries using language that feels kind, natural, and empowering. Melissa’s straightforward scripts and practical tips makes it easy to identify your limits and communicate them with confidence, so you can start putting yourself first and create a life that feels bigger, freer, and more authentically YOU.” —Mel Robbins, New York Times bestselling author of The 5 Second Rule

“Helpful as hell and lovingly direct, Melissa Urban is the boundaries big sister we all so desperately need. Through her insightful advice and easy-to-follow scripts, Urban teaches you how to stand up for yourself without walling yourself off from the people you love.” —Tara Schuster, author of Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies

“Setting healthy boundaries is good for your relationships, your business, and your finances. The Book of Boundaries shows you how to stand up for yourself, say no, and communicate your needs in a way that leaves you feeling confident and empowered. Through her stories, personal experiences, and research, Melissa Urban gives you the tools, affirmations, and language you need to reclaim your time, energy, and health.” —Tiffany Aliche, New York Times bestselling author of Get Good with Money

“Melissa Urban has written the playbook for creating connection, protecting our peace, and expanding our lives. At once insightful, personal, funny, and direct, The Book of Boundaries should be required reading for anyone who has relationships with other humans.” —Ellen Vora, MD, psychiatrist and bestselling author of The Anatomy of Anxiety

"The rare book that manages to be practical, thoughtful, readable, and even funny. If you’ve struggled to identify and establish healthy boundaries—with family, in romance, at work, or in life—Melissa Urban shows the way forward with clarity, vulnerability, and humor.” —Gretchen Rubin, bestselling author of The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies

“This groundbreaking book is a must read for everyone who seeks the best habits to optimize your life." —BJ Fogg, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Tiny Habits

“If you're a people-pleaser, can't say no, or constantly put other people's comfort ahead of your own, you need Melissa Urban and The Book of Boundaries. Through her entertaining stories, years of research, and personal experience, Melissa helps you identify your needs, gives you just the right words to communicate them effectively, and empowers you to transform your relationships, self-esteem, and confidence.” —Sara Kuburic, existential therapist, Author, and Creator of @millennial.therapist
 
“Do you want to bring the truest version of yourself to your relationships? This book is required reading. In The Book of Boundaries, Melissa Urban invites you into a conversation about boundaries that is unlike one you've likely had before. With disarmingly honest boundary scripts, personal stories that will have you nodding along or cracking up, and glorious advice on how to gracefully navigate your greatest relationship quandaries, Urban deftly delivers the answer to your most pressing questions about how to set, maintain, and follow through with the boundaries you ache for.” —Mara Glatzel, host of the Needy podcast and author of Needy: How to Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty

“Melissa Urban is the friend you wish you had, here to convince you that boundaries are possible, and that peace and greater happiness will follow. I devoured this book, then looked at my life and realized I needed an overhaul.” 
Kate Bowler, author of the New York Times bestsellers Good Enough and No Cure for Being Human